I try not to use the word "hate" in general, so apologies, but I'm going to here, because there is no other way I can think of to express the magnitude of my feelings: I have gotten to the point where I HATE this scripture (it is, as far as I know, exclusive to the Mormon faith, if you're not familiar with it)....not because it is incorrect, as such, because, well, all people have done something dishonest, or mean, or selfish at some point. We hurt and we harm; we're intolerant, self destructive, and so freaking impatient with each other, because humans are flawed, and we're self-centered, and we screw up all the time. And when we do, it makes us miserable if we have any conscience at all. It's no secret I struggle with my temper, and every time I lose my cool, whether at my wife, or my kids, or a total stranger, I feel like garbage afterwards, because I have failed to live up to the basic standard of behavior I set for myself. Sorry for the glimpse into my personal problems, but the point is, I think I correctly understand the meaning this scripture is trying to convey, because I live through it every day.
No, I hate it because some otherwise well-meaning LDS people use it as a blanket end-all argument against people or things they don't like. My friend uses it against gay people whenever we have a "discussion" on my facebook wall, which is the one that is currently annoying me, but I've heard it used to put down everything from other religions to being a feminist or a (gasp) liberal. And it bugs me because it is so judgmental, and so unhelpful, but there's another, more important reason I don't like it. The big lie I was taught over and over growing up was the "world" was evil, and the "world" would corrupt me, but I have honestly never met a wicked person (the "world" of course, being made up of every person who isn't a righteous Mormon). I'm not saying they can't exist, but all I've ever met both in and out of the Mormon bubble are people struggling to make it through life, just like me. Some of them have beliefs or lifestyles that I honestly do not relate to very well because they are so far removed from my reality. And that's okay. I don't judge things I don't understand. I would never say my way is best, because my way is rocky and steep, and I am sometimes surprised I have made it 42 years without putting a bullet through my head. I am a miserable failure of a human being at least 17.2 percent of the time, and I would die of shame if everyone could see all the messed up things that go through my head every single day....but I'm still happy, and fairly frequently, actually. Every time my kids are excited to see me, or show me something awesome, or tell me an amazing story, I am happy. Every time my wife is in a good mood and I manage not to screw it up, I'm happy. Every time I learn something cool, and get to share it with someone, and they think it's cool, too, I'm happy. Sometimes I am happy for no damned good reason at all, and I savor every scrap I get, because moments of true happiness are both fleeting and rare. The point is, I think I understand happiness, and when I saw the many videos posted as 1400 people rushed to get marriage licences in Utah after the court reversed the ban on same-sex marriage, saw their tears of joy overflow as they were surprised by the unexpected arrival of a day many thought would never come, I saw genuine happiness, and I was happy for them. They weren't wicked people corrupting society. They were human beings, and if you happen to be religious, fellow children of God, reveling in the best kind of happiness, the kind that is unexpected. They were human beings, bubbling with excitement for one of the most important life events most of us will ever have, not any different than you or me.
The birth of my first son, out of wedlock, and certainly the result of sin if you have a religious world-view, probably saved my life. I was miserable, I was lost, I was confused, depressed, and remarkably unhappy. But all that changed that minute in the delivery room when I got to first hold my child. I was elated. My life had a purpose. 17 years later, being a parent has brought me more happiness than any other thing. Even when everything is difficult (like right now, actually), I have never regretted making that "mistake". NEVER. So I admit, the idea that "righteous" Mormons somehow have a monopoly on happiness rubs me the wrong way, and while many or even most LDS people might be more empathetic, I just keep seeing that scripture used to mean something it was never intended to mean, and I can't stand it anymore. Happiness is scattered everywhere. Just because someone found theirs somewhere you wouldn't care to look doesn't make it less real, or less valid, or less valuable. Of course, if you are a person who thinks only people who believe what you believe can be happy, my last statement might have made you unhappy. The blessing of life is, you've still got time to get over it, and you really, really should.
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